i'm starved
2 days without food in my stomach.
perhaps this way, i slim down even faster?

i love kiki ;] super adorable !
sky. kiki is mine already ;]

additional post

sometimes wondering am i really sick or my heart is sick thats why i choose not to recover..i don't like the feeling now! confusion.. i can't accept that the fact and truth perhaps im too reluctant to know about it..

please lead me out of this, i need to..

the truth is always so hurtful, don't let me be the last to know anything

Thanks Trish!
;] PLEASE quit drinking as promised and i shall quit too ;DD

i'm super sick now, how i wish nothing happen at all..
someone's just avoiding me, what more can i do?
forget it... the more i want the thing, the more i can't get it..
might as well i let go ;] cause everything is impossible now.


why am i always the one losing out? it hurts so badly especially cold treatment

i don't like it..
if you wanna treat me so coldly, let me know.
i'll leave ok? thanks. ;(


my paper heart bleeds because of you...

Is this the starting point?
or is another heartbreaking point?

mentioned some stuffs to trish, we've got the same thinking.
it really disgusted me so much. RIGHT trish? Fun during work recently,
all i do is play all day long with my bunch of colleagues. Able to feel those
loves ;D
Trish . My new love ;] So jennifer gonna get jealous..

Anthony. My MR FAT FACE. Can u just get well? & Please buy me some gifts when you're
back from ur holiday trip that LEAVES ME AND HENGYONG alone in shop. ass.

Simon. The one who always provides me with endless sweets... more of it okay? ;)

Jazreel . The one that always make fun of me. THANKS joy's sis hahaaas! kidding

Thanks so much . u all really makes fun @ work!!


don't ever ask me why i love you cause it's my decision to love you so deeply, time with prove my love for you..

My conversation with little benny bro ..

Benny - WHO GOT PS2 GAMES LEND ME :] sent 8/26/2007 11:26 PM:
wei wei !!!
- γíиggs & little miss playful says:
yeah
Benny - WHO GOT PS2 GAMES LEND ME :] sent 8/26/2007 11:26 PM:
you you when going wc
Benny - WHO GOT PS2 GAMES LEND ME :] says:
i come ;P
- γíиggs & little miss playful says:
wed
- γíиggs & little miss playful says:
u wanna go?
Benny - WHO GOT PS2 GAMES LEND ME :] says:
ur bday right !
- γíиggs & little miss playful says:
nope
Benny - WHO GOT PS2 GAMES LEND ME :] says:
NO MEH
γíиggs & little miss playful says:
;(
- γíиggs & little miss playful says:
haha
Benny - WHO GOT PS2 GAMES LEND ME :] says:
DUN LIE LA
- γíиggs & little miss playful says:
WED WC
- γíиggs & little miss playful says:
;D
- γíиggs & little miss playful says:
but i dont nkow the way sia
- γíиggs & little miss playful says:
;x
Benny - WHO GOT PS2 GAMES LEND ME :] says:
u better tell me first
Benny - WHO GOT PS2 GAMES LEND ME :] says:
ur bday right

γíиggs & little miss playful says:
is not
- γíиggs & little miss playful says:
why u dont believe me
- γíиggs & little miss playful says:
;(

Benny - WHO GOT PS2 GAMES LEND ME :] says:
den why they say ur bday
Benny - WHO GOT PS2 GAMES LEND ME :] says:
o_O
- γíиggs & little miss playful says:
who say?
- γíиggs & little miss playful says:
SAY benny
Benny - WHO GOT PS2 GAMES LEND ME :] says:
i forgot who
Benny - WHO GOT PS2 GAMES LEND ME :] says:
thats why
- γíиggs & little miss playful says:
...

Isn't he adorable? LOL...
AGAIN work work work. But i've to thank hengyong alright?
no nightjob for candy !

saw someone special ;))
someone just someone ! hahaas..

i'll wait for you... all my life

Woke up by angela's call ...
" So is u opening ? " I've got no choice but to agree cause our poor fat
face Anthony is not feeling very well.. ;)

All of nothing, work isn't good for me today. Mood is ruined due to something, fucks.
i hate it when people ignore/talk rudely. Common i'm not ur puppet for you to scream and yell at alright? If u wish to vent your anger, fuck that stupid wall and scold all you want. THANKS

After work, went shopping with Angela, cheowseng, kenneth ;)))
walked to wisma.. Angela got herself a crop pant in grey @ ESPRIT ;) good buy lar !
Then to TOPSHOP.. my shopping mood is there~ chosen a plain white blouse? tried on. LOVE IT so there goes my $53 okay? Oh ya i bought myself a pair of covered shoe @ GAP.
so total spent $53 + $66.25 + $ 33 ( dinner @ RAMEN TEN )

alright joke of the week..
MISS forgetful Angela, she can just leave her phone on the table AND obviously she leave it there and stand up . WALKED off . thanks haha I kept her phone haha and Kenneth knew about it.. Can't stop laughing when she don't even realise that her phone is missing until we showed our phone to her... Kenneth <- lousy .. keep on laughing almost expose our secret out. Duper duper funny when Angela got so STRESSED when the phone is missing but she act like nothing bothers her cause the phone belongs to Weeseng's dad .

;) Thanks Angela, Kenneth and CheowSeng ;DDD love shopping with u guys .

i tends to think but i realise everything is not in the reality ;)

MISSCANDY please be strong..

Alright met up with my jennifer.. AWAITING for so long..
nevermind.
dinner-ed @ westmall ;)

this time round, perhaps i've grown to be more sensible.
only believe urself when comes to problem like that.
CANDY its time to be more sensible cause little girl does grown ;)


in ur eyes, i'm not the one u need ;) and i knew it long ago

confusion ...
u're making me feeling very happy at that very moment, but
when i starts to realise.. it's all just not in the reality.

Reality always so hurting..
i rather not know anything perhaps i lead a better way of my life.
I don't wish that everyday i dragged myself to bed, reluctantly so tiring...
how long more do i have to lead this kind of life?


i miss you yet i know i can't tell u ;(

so much so..
i'm so tired, FULL shift is killing me.
so please~ let my mind rest for just a minute i'll be grateful to you ;)

wondering so much. pondering and hestitating too much...
wondering are you serious?
pondering over what u've said..
hestitate cause my heart isn't feeling well..

hiding myself from reality. smiling like no one knows that
im hurt inside..
are you truthful?
will u be the one?
thousand and million of question churning in my tiny brain, its killing me...

worked whole day just to stop myself from thinking so much.
fooling around and hoping my time off with Anthony thats bullies me and pinch me.
anyway still thanks at least my mind wont wander too far away from me ;)


i'm confuse . guide me through alright?

homely girl spotted ;)))
promise to be good girl one okay?
woke up kind of late and now im stucked infront of my computer ;DD

chatting with jennifer and zhiqiang online..
the weather is cooling. windy and cloudy...
everytime i look up in the darkest sky, my heart sank but i dont know why..

MR ZHIQIANG <- big bully...

ma bitch jennifer. she's talking nonsense when she's tired. but i still love her...
shall be a homely girl tomorrow ! as promised to my mum that will do housework.

i'm such a good daughter am i?

i know its hard, i'm gradually letting it go already.
Just a little more.. Firstly i had to face that song he sang ;)
secondly i need more encouragement..

today went to work so reluctantly. Just feeling fucking moody no mood to work.
worked till 2pm today and went to Wisma to collect some stocks, chatted with Winnie and joyce! ;) train-ed back jurong by the longer route cause i got alot of things to think, alot of let go..
fell asleep after listening to songs.. i'm mentally tired already, needed lots of rest i suppose! ;)

home-ed and ate my first meal ;)


i understand that i can't force anything and i dont wish to either.. rather holding on, i'll let go.. i will be happier i'm sure..

the rain pours during the night..
coldness went into my heart, so scary.. ;(

but my heart already snowing becos of him,
trying to get him out of it whole night.. trying every mean...
Sigh. im down with flu cause of him. love flu that will never gets well.

gonna stay at home till 4pm meeting my jennifer later.
boo

his msn nick - she's the sweetest girl i ever seen.
the most hurting thing in the world. cause im not the girl. FARK.
CANDY just give up ok?

Today reached shop on time. So im gonna end work on time too. As promised to myself...
hahaas~
tiring as usual so fucking reluctant to go work. Been thinking so much these days, kept wondering is it right ? Im thinking of someone who will NEVER BE MINE. silly me that i waited for such a long period of time. 3 long years to 4.. dumb.

perhaps its time to let go, i will live a better life?
BUT its hard. contradiciting but no choice...


the way he smile and the way he laughs.. i will always remember it...

what can i do to make you mine?
fallen so hard so fast this time.
what did i say what did you do ?
how did i fall in love with you?

i wanna say this right.
and it has to be tonight.just need you to know.
i dont wanna live this life,
i dont wanna say goodbye...
with you i wanna spend the rest of my life.


i admit i still likes you as much in the past, those memories of you will be kept tightly in my heart. i promise to take good care of it and never let it go missing .

Lord came over to fetch me after work ;)
i'm late so he's late for going work, im sorry...
Anyway reach his working place around 645pm or so ?
Oh ya i got an apple from him as what he promised.

Sat there for more than 2 hours plus.. Kind of fuming plus a little emo
due to him? Sigh Sigh ~ When silver and Benny came over, they told me " eh he might not come" i'm like WTH? super disappointed and emo-ness came over.. Didnt really eat much that day..

He called... saying he will be coming over.. smile on my face being shown. but im still fuming cause gastric is there.. DUH. nevermind. don't wish to elaborate. boo~~
Starts drinking.. Lord is mean lol trying to get us drunk? i admit when i see him super emo. i can even get drunk when drinking plain water ... LOL dumb. heartbeat jumping like mad ;( its saddistic...

Got tipsy at the end. spinning head plus gastric pain. i think amp(andy( sent me back home? i can't remb clearly. but i know im safely brought home.

someone ask me " have u regret coming? " nope~ but i regret saying out my secret

Today is my off day, stayed at home whole day. Just
too reluctant to go out, perhaps too tired and the weather is too good
windy and a little cloudy. Suits my current mood..

Went out awhile to meet Jennifer for a cup of icelemon tea and i went back. dumb-ed...
Chat with lord ( alvin ) on the phone, just feel weird when i speaks chinese with him ! hahas
used to speak english now.. hahas. he's laughing at me on the phone. insults *

can you bring me to the other part of the world? unglamourous

Things ain't the way i want it to be...
Perhaps its fated to be this way? I can't do anything either! haa~
Work is fun today, Anthony being bullied by me ;)
I ain't weakling so dont bully me alright Anthony ! HIAK~

He stole my famous amos cookies thats a gift from Serene.
So sweet of her. 300grams no nuts chocolate chip! LOVES.
shared some with few colleagues. Been thinking the whole day about
15 days later . Am i being too excited or im just bored so im already planning
what to wear on that day.
DUH~


you picked me up when i was down, and i hope you feel the same way too.
And i pray that you love me too, all my life

Just went blank totally when the memories unfold.
Why can't i just not think about it? Everytime i thought of it, i'll just become super
emotional or to say feeling super blue.

Is it that i can't leave his world? i'm always thinking. pondering all by myself., who really
understands me? Perhaps no one. I choose the road myself, i wrote my future and dream myself. i choose to be this way, thinking of him instead of letting go.

Cause i don't believe that when i let go those memories i will go further in my road.


I'm alone walking this road

Handle it with loads of love, don't ever tear it apart.
Thats my little fragil heart.

Tiredness, Sleepyness ruins everything. Seems like been days i don't have enough of
rest.. Tomorrow morning shift * hope able to go home on time.
Wednesday 730AM must reach Wisma for Visual merchandising meeting for babyGap.

Below is some pictures of me and my colleagues @ CentrePoint ~

Just unable to control my emotional tempo, just can't stand myself from feeling blues all day long. unappreciated and unable to control of anything. useless ya? i had enough though ~

Today morning training is kind of fun? Arghs~~ Early in the morning we're running all over the shop for the game. Reluctant is the word for the mood today when i first woke up.
It's getting late, time for me to get some rest. Full shift again tomorrow. LONG LONG DAY FOR ME .

24 hours of tiredness can kill me totally off. Esp my brain, and body running weaker~



If i able to turn back the time, i'll choose to be back to your side again.
But it never gonna happen cause you got no wish to have it happen at all. ;(

Work is never easy if people don't give any chance to prove urself. Mistakes made at first attempt yet no comfort words but pricking ones is being heard. Whats the point of having such a work life ? People always telling me not to give up in this job, yeah i indeed cannot give up.

Why? Cause the staffs there really nice to talk to . Especially Anthony, although he's always making fun of me but i know he meant well. Siti always there to cheer me up with her voice but good try ah. Perhaps im being too sensitive? I can't stand people who nags at me and when im trying to get things done but sadly to feel unappreciated. I don't wish to mention any names cause by now i'm freaking numb about it. Everyone makes mistakes but why never even think that if you yourself make mistakes will you be so harsh to yourself? I know this time round is my carelessness but i can't take it is you're being fucking harsh okay? Everything im doing is for the shop but the way you react to me is " OH you have to do it " FUCK okay?

I ain't taking much pay but i willing to do . Provided the "someone" willing to give people like me a chance to do even after mistakes, some comfort words to hear .. NAH i had enough. Perhaps
retail is not really the right job for me or another words. THIS company is not the right place for me. Management really sucks big time, can't really take it. Making me feeling very reluctant to go to work every morning. - WORST PART. ( it means i don't feel like working anymore ).

End of that saddistic job. But no matter what if i gonna leave, i'll be doing everything nicely before going off. ;) That's all ~

Life is never easy, without a goal. I'm nothing

I pray for someone like you, i think i ~ that i . That i finally found you, and i hope
that you feel the same way too.

Sometimes in life, we'd to cherish and treasure the things around us. We'll never know one of the stranger might be the one that fall in love with you one day in future. So always bring a smile, no matter what. Someone will unknowingly fall in love with your smile.

Movie-d with Jennifer. SECRET by Jay Chou. BEST ! thumbs up for both.
Romantic yet mysterious. Thats all. Shall post up photos next time. Too tired to think and do anything.

Hmm perhaps we just dont have control of people's gossiping mouth nor talking back of people.
For those who did that always the one trying to seek their best attention or someone who want to suck up to bosses. LOOK DOWN on this people! Fuck off?

Jolene flying to Perth tomorrow. SAFE TRIP okay? Will be waiting for u to come back and chilled with me and Anthony okay?

Met up with Soulmate ( Jennifer ) . Yeah been meeting her more frequently these days, seems more to be a les of her. hahas. Too tired. Workload doesnt seems to get lesser, So much things to do so little salary back. Feeling unfair and reluctant!

Good luck Candy.

A little respect to me, and i'll know that you're my missing piece

Still the same .
Sometimes "some colleagues" taking things for granted.
A RO book is for them to update themselves not everything i've to do for them,
is dumb if you WISH that someone will just do it for you.
END OF WORK STUFFS. CAUSE I HAD ENOUGH

Met up with Jennifer for supper,
chat awhile.
Anyway 1 incident.
Miss Jennifer and i saw some ex schoolmates at 7/11.
actually wanna ignore or somehow like avoid them and she ended
up walking right to the back of the store and face that dumb drinks.
LOL the joke of the week ;)

home sweet home.

There's something in the way, you look at me.
As if you're the missing piece .

Down with pain in the throat, stuffy nose, ulcer on my lip !
It's tired today. Fell asleep in shop today during my break..

Had lunch with Xueting,Dennis, Anthony and Azlie.
Ate quite alot cause i'm like super hungry? Order additional rice for myself @
Mixed vegetable store! First time i'm eating that much for lunch, heavy lunch i had .

i love the song " Heartbreaking Day " by Jolin .
it that suits my mood .

Went MDIS meet Jennifer.
Marcus, Ian & Dan is there. But didn't really talk much to them cause i felt super anti social today! Too tired to be hyper so just pardon me for these days~

Took train to woodlands to catch a movie with Jennifer. Been a long time since i watched movie with her ! Hah~ Simpsons is nice. Funny and crappy... Chat awhile on the way back home, being stopped by some surveyor again?! Darn it.. Seems like im super unlucky that i'm always being stopped by them asking me to sign up thingys etc... insurance, fitness* ( do i look like i need to slim down or keep fit? ) DUH~

Too tired to say anything. My blog is for me to write my nonsense and lifeless blog entries.
So can just dont bother to read about it ...


im helpless cause i felt like im floating nowhere .. ~

It's crazy to wake up at 6am in the morning right now and prepare to go for meeting
at Wisma. Visual meeting is the most tedious thingy in the earliest morning like 730am.
Upon reaching, sent a sms to Jennifer tell her about lots of things. Hengyong is late for meeting.
Overslept .

After like 3 hours or more, everything is done nicely finally. But we have to go back and make changes ourselves, isn't that dumb? lol~ Wisma's staffs dont have to do anything already~
Freaking tired to doll myself up. Went back via cab to cut my hair, nicely done.
Ain't allow to sleep cause meeting Jennifer outside MDIS. Super lazy to doll up now.. My heavy eyelids ... ~

Is it a starting point? But it seems more like a breaking point.
numbed feeling.