♥ Monday, August 24, 2009
This photo was actually months back, guessed its that time when i'm still with him.When i'm still so much in love so much happiness filled up my heart so much loves could be seen from my facial expression every minute (:Things changes, i changed i guessed.The only changes done was actually fell badly for him and makes him leave me totally.
I knew it's no longer possible for miracles to happen between me and himself already.I knew no matter what, things will remain like how it is.I knew there's nothing i can do anymore to have things back like before.It has been months already, I'm contented just to know he's happy without me (:Probably it's me didn't try to put in more effort that's why things become this way like now,Indirectly, i ruined my own happiness.I used to believe I'll be the most happiest woman cause I'd him that time.I used to realize my future is him.I thought this time round, I'll have my very own happiness which i longed for so long, however it's not.
Whatever i said now, no longer important.If there's a chance for me again, I'll never repeat mistakes that i shouldn't.Now i dislikes most at nights, especially those nights without stars hanging on the sky.I tends to be very fearful, I'm afraid of nightmares.The nightmares, the very same nightmares i'd for few months already.Every time, i woke up crying yet i couldn't do anything.Helplessly.I tried to convince myself to move on and step into another relationship.I can't bring myself to accept another cause i know it's totally impossible for me now.I know my heart well enough, I'm not being draggy towards him.Just that as long as i'm comfortable with myself not having anyone. Never be replaced? I'm trying to convince myself that someone will actually replaced his position in my heart itself, i did tried. I chosen to follow my heart rather than my brain.
Ms Brainy : Let him go, at least you'll move on to next relationship and be a lot happier than now.
Ms Hearty: Do what you really find best for your own happiness. If you believes that he'll still be the one, follow it. To love him, you don't mind being called the world's silliest girl.
Ms C : I'm exhausted, I just want to remain this way, though its no longer possible to be back (:
I'm contradicting myself, I know! Don't need anyone to remind me.
If not I might find you people, ANNOYING.
Whatever it is, now is what i want to rant.
Not pointing fingers at anyone.
He left me cause i changed.
I ruined it.
He's not in the wrong, i am (:
So what if i regret? I can't do anything.
I'll be fine, so fine so fine (:
For now, I really wants to treat him like a very good friend.
Will it still be possible?
I'm starting to doubt even myself.
Hahaha!
Candy being a nuisance now?
I am.
Anyway, the song lyrics below is very meaningful. This song Vincent sent it to me (: Thanks Vincent, its nice the song (:
Let me just blessed all lovely couples or lovebirds or newly weds or even married couples. I hereby sincerely wish that happiness be with you people (:
Title : 为什么你要离开我 ( Why do you have to leave me )你说我不必难过坚强是给你最好的礼物忍住眼泪想说声音却已颤抖真的很想把你挽留为什么你要离开我是不是我又做错了什么我们在一起经历了那么多难道你已不爱我心好痛你要离开我是不是我付出的不够多曾经爱得那么真都付出所有到最后还是我一个我没有把握你说我不必难过坚强是给你最好的礼物忍住眼泪想说声音却已颤抖真的很想把你挽留为什么你要离开我是不是我又做错了什么我们在一起经历了那么多难道你已不爱我心好痛你要离开我是不是我付出的不够多曾经爱得那么真都付出所有到最后还是我一个我没有把握你说过你只属于我现在你却对我说我们没有结果幸福来得太快来不急琢磨原来那只是一场梦为什么你要离开我是不是我又做错了什么我们在一起经历了那么多难道你已不爱我没有我你会不会说其实你还一直深爱着我原来所谓的爱情是这样脆弱现在只好安慰自己说别太过执着现在学会了放手默默接受你作出的决定因为我相信你有你的原因我会埋藏这个结局怀念着你
