♥ Monday, February 8, 2010
At times, I'll feel that everything that I have now will be gone or left me overnight.
Therefore, I always feeling very sad during the darkest night.
Just like today
.
.
.
One moment, was talking to Alvin happily.
Few seconds later, I felt that was rather lonely and being upset.
My mood just being tarnished totally.
Lately I felt that will Alvin and me worked out?
Will our relationship starts to fade like the previous?
Am I trying hard enough to salvage or to prevent such things to happen?
or
Am i the one that he's looking for all these while?
Im afraid, yes the fear of putting in all efforts and gets nothing but tears.
I didn't want history to repeat by itself, I couldn't stop by thinking about it...
I'm trying to be there for him as much as I could.
However,
Im afraid he might feels that I'm way too dependent on him and he leaves me...
I could feel my heart being squeezed and tears about to flow out when I typed this entry.
How I wish that
.
.
.
he appears right at my doorstep now
he hugs me right now
he texts me right now
he calls me right now
he says he loves me forever right now
he tugs me to bed right now
he wipes those tears off my cheek right now
he holds me tight now
Yes, I need him right beside me at this moment.
I can't demand so much, I know I can't!
I can't!
I can't!
I can't!
I can't!
I can't!
I can't!
I can't!
I can't!
I can't!
I can't!
I can't!
I can't!
I can't!
I can't!
I can't!
I can't!
I can't!
I can't!
I do not want to feel that everytime I need him so much by my side & he's there telling me that he's tired with his work after the whole day and makes me feel like a total fool.I hates the feeling of now,the feeling of unable to do anything to help but tears flow.I ain't as strong as you thought I am, I need a shoulder to lean on at times too...
Nothing but you ...
