I hate staying at home on Saturday.
As everything flashes back whenever I do things.
Like just a moment back, I'm doing laundry and I thought of those times on Saturdays
we used to do laundry together and start lazing around and headed for lunch.
I wondered if he remembers, however if its important it no longer matters to him neither me. Convinced.

Been trying so hard to make myself busy, happy, tired yet feeling lethargic about everything that has happen.
I felt like a fool from the start.
A fool that believes that the love will be forever, so convinced by the actions given by you, however i realized is one-sided.
Heard from someone that you really do loves her, what am I? A fool trying to convince that things will be back to normal after giving you 2 years.
I'm trying yet you are trying so hard to give everything to her that belongs to me once.

Lost the motivation to blog initially, till I saw you starts blogging and deleted everything that belongs to the both of us.
Why?
What did I do to deserve all these?
Even deleting all those albums in Facebook that belongs to us, was thinking how you able to do such things?
Am i being too soft-hearted towards you or you are being ruthless towards me.
When I hear your stuffs from others, I felt that whatever I did doesn't bother about you anymore.
Why make it as if I'm a substituted of someone's else? The someone you used to love, I do not wants to be anyone's substitute. Does anyone realized the pain?

I said to you that you will never be able to find happiness cause you hurt those that loves you, do you know how much it hurts when I said those?
I should have be more gracious but I couldn't cause you meant so much to me.
So much to the extend that I couldn't even recognize myself.
Trying to deceive myself that you no longer bothers,
no longer a pair
no longer or rather never know each other from the start.
A mistake from the start, convincing still.
The pain inflicted will always be there.

Lately been trying to make myself happier by doing stuffs that will make everyone happy.
Like having company of Xiping and gangs.
Meeting up more with Cindy love.
Trying to give surprises to KJ
and having DesTDL by my side (:(:(:
I know everyone cares, I love to be loved too.
I'm just afraid.
Commitment is something I never believe again.
Not because I'm playful, just that I'm afraid I'll have to go through these torments once again in future.
Who can guarantee that I wouldn't get hurt in any ways? No one.
Not even myself, I couldn't even convince myself.
So no commitment, I feared of it ever since you left.

I'm contented now, with the one that loves me by my side.
I must be contented.
(: